you've still got lightning in you.

LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I DO KNOW: I AM MORE THAN ONE THING, AND NOT ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE GOOD. THE TRUTH IS COMPLICATED. IT’S TWO-TONED, MULTI-VOCAL, BITTERSWEET. I USED TO THINK THAT IF I DUG DEEP ENOUGH TO DISCOVER SOMETHING SAD AND UGLY, I’D KNOW IT WAS SOMETHING TRUE. NOW I’M TRYING TO DIG DEEPER. I DIDN’T WANT TO WRITE THESE PAGES UNTIL THERE WERE NO HARD FEELINGS, NO SHARP ONES. I DO NOT HAVE THAT LUXURY. I AM SAD AND ANGRY AND I WANT EVERYONE TO BE ALIVE AGAIN. I WANT MORE LANDMARKS, LESS LANDMINES.

I WANT TO BE GRATEFUL BUT I’M HAVING A HARD TIME WITH IT. ■

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